Riley's Advice

• 2012-02-21

  Anonymous asked: I swear it's like people give their attention to everyone but me. I've thought about just completely ignoring everyone for a while. But I can't stand not talking to people. Then my day is just full of messaging people that never message back. Am I really just that unattractive or something? sheesh.

  Yes, you probably are that unattractive. Honestly, I have never met a single person who is 100% attractive. So, if it makes you feel better, everyone is unattractive.

  But maybe you should just ignore people. That’s what I’m doing this whole week. I turned my phone off…and then i may have lost it… but either way, i’m not talking to anyone. :D

• 2012-02-06

  girolala asked: You know how you should be over someone years in the past? And every now and then you have streaks of thinking of them? Maybe you do or maybe you don't but it's definitely a problem of mine. It changed me so much I hate to admit it; but it did and not in the growing stronger or wiser way, but in the hurt let's play it cool and pretend you're fine. Idk what to do sometimes. I'm usually the one that gives great advice so its hard to take it lots of times lol. Any thoughts?

  I know 100% of what you mean. I was with the same guy for a year and a half of my life, and he changed me so much. It’s normal to think like “where would i be if they were still here?”. you just have to accept those people as giant learning experiences. so many people never get to learn from their past, so be lucky that you have your past to learn from.

• 2012-02-03

  Anonymous asked: I met this guy about a month ago, he's a Marine and he's stationed 7 hours away from me. We talk almost every day and it's really clear that he's interested in me, too. I'm going to see him next week and I'm so excited, But I'm a relationship-type girl and I'm scared that he won't want to date me because of the distance. I want to be on the same page as him but I'm scared that if I bring it up, then I'll scare him off. What should I do?

  You have to talk to him. I know it’s scary, but the thought of not knowing what could have happened should be scarier than the thought of knowing that it wouldn’t work out, you know?

• 2012-01-29

  Anonymous asked: So I've been talking to this new guy and he's really sweet and seems great but there is one problem. He NEVER texts me. Ever. I know this sounds so much like "first world problems" but to me it comes off like he just doesn't want to get to know me. We can only spend so much time together in person as we go to different colleges close by. Should I just text him, with the fear of being annoying or just wait it out until the rare occasion when he does text me? Also should I mention it bothers me?

  This is always tricky. Maybe just give him some space and wait until he misses you. If he doesn’t miss you, then it wasn’t meant to be, and if he does, then you’ll know soon enough, because he’ll text you. :D

• 2012-01-21

  le0n-tyler asked: hehe i have a few friends with the same problem with your permission may i put a link on my blog redirecting them to here ?

  of course! everyone’s situation is different and I’m willing to help anyone.

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  sodom-hussein asked: Do you think nerdy, awkward people like me should seek out other awkward guys , or should we look for people who are more socially skilled to help us learn?

  I think it really depends. I, personally, would consider myself highly socially intelligent, and I’m more attracted to socially awkward people because i like seeing them be themselves.

  I guess what i’m saying is that there’s an extrovert in this world for every introvert, and vice-versa. 

• 2012-01-09

  Anonymous asked: I'm having trouble with coming out to my family. Recently my mom has been rejecting everything I try to explain to her. She doesn't believe a word I say. I try explaining how I'm attracted to both males and females, and she says I don't because I have a boyfriend. And when I try to explain that I'm androgynous and genderfluid, she just says I'm not. I'm starting to think that I shouldn't bother trying to come out to my family. They might reject me like my mom has. What do I do?

  I don’t know your family, unfortunately, so I don’t know their reactions. Try to imagine what each of their individual reactions will be before you tell them. Some people aren’t worth telling, in all honestly, because some people will never truly understand and comprehend. And it’s really, really stupid that that’s the way it is. But you just have to learn with every reaction that you get, if that makes sense…

• 2012-01-04

  Anonymous asked: im 18, and i recently met this guy who was really sweet, and pretty much the best thing ever in my opinion, but i totally forgot to ask how old he was and when he finally said something, it was really flabbergasting cause he's 27. and he didnt know my age either and he was just as shocked as i was about my age. this doesnt change about how we feel about each other though..but im scared about the age difference. but i mean like if you truely care about someone then age shouldnt matter right?

  First, bonus points to you for using the word flabbergasting.

  Second, honestly, it’s legal, you like eachother, I don’t give a shit. It’s only 9 years, one of my closest friend’s parents were like 20 years apart. it’s really all good to me, at least. you like eachother. it’s really kind of simple.

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  Anonymous asked: Okay, so I've been out of a relationship with this guy I was in love with since July 2010, but I'm still not 100% "over him" and I've been afraid of getting in a relationship since then because I don't want to compare it to the one he and I had. I'm also just socially awkward and afraid of approaching people. Any tips on how to get over him and for putting myself out there to start dating again?

  I really wish I could help you with this one, but unfortunately I’m having 100% the same issue. Except I was with this guy from july of 2009 bahaha. I wish I had something to help you out on this one. All I can say that trusting people after your heart is broken is really difficult, and a lot of times it’s not worth it. But you just have to keep reminding yourself that every single person on this planet is different in their own way, and you’ll have different experiences with everyone.

• 2012-01-03

  Anonymous asked: I'm not sure what to do, because I've had a crush on a guy for a really long time and when I got enough courage to try to talk to him on Facebook he completely ignored me. I want to let go, but that just makes my feelings towards him stronger. I don't think we'd be like a dream couple and we don't have anything in common, but since I ended up in love with him I thought it would be nice to give it a shot. PS: I'm a gay guy

  this is like my life.
  is he gay? if he’s not gay, then you should really just give him some space. some things, although difficult, are much more important to be left behind than to drag with you.
  if he is gay, try taking every opportunity to talk to him in person. it’s much more difficult to ignore someone in person than online.
  there is, unfortunately, the slight possibility that he just doesn’t like you. that’s the worst, because usually those types of people just suck all sorts of balls. they don’t have the cahunas to actually explain their disinterest. it’s best to just leave them alone to fester in their loneliness and misery.